Its official.... I will never have anything nice again. My house will always stink. I will die a sad and bitter man that is filled with hate and rage, covered in dog and cat hair with hunks of my carpet missing.
The other day I was asked by Christie to download her pictures from camera to disk. well as the pc completed the task, i got a look at an unusual picture... some strange red thing and a couple of squares.... It took me a minute to get my bearings..... It's my kitchen floor.... I thought... Finally.. shes taking an interest in the house... (shes nesting) I don't care if its an ugly red rug ... I'm just happy she bought something, and look its a rug... it will help protect and beautify the kitchen....... Problem is.... the picture shows the rug rolled back with two 10 x 10 inch squares cut out. Christie was watching TV in the other room, so I yelled out...... Heyyy Lucy, you got some splanin to do. well turns out..... The droopy eyed dog crapped on the kitchen floor. Christie doesn't like the floor ( it's ugly carpet) so she cut up the pieces that had crap on them.
Well there you have it.... Were country... just like Brittney Spears. I don't know why i didn't think of this..... I mean.... why wash bird shit off a car window, (Just fucken smash it) why vacuum, why clean anything when you can just burn, cut, explode, acid burn, launch in to space. what ever..... Oddly... I'm the one that paid for the house with the crap carpet. and I'm the one that gets to pay for the new floor. Oh yea and install it. Anybody want two dogs and a girl....
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